I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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