Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
