I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
