okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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