I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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