Ambien. No doubt about it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
