i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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