You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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