STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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