Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
