in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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