she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
