I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
