Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
