the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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