He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
