i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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