Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
