turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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