im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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