whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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