so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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