Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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