this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She's the barista slut.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
