Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
