i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
