sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
