i don't like sucking hair
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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