Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
