haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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