There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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