Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
