sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
