nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
