i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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