I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
