guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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