guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
