my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
