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• (760): View more from California

  Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do

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• (718): View more from New York

  I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.

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• (347): View more from New York

  GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had

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• (631): View more from New York

  I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao

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