Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
