And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
