he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
