Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
