glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
