this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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