I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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