I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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