yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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