Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
