found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
