You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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